been thinking in a space of no return
what is mine to hold
what parts have no grasp
how long is enough
when you brace yourself for what’s to come
knowing how you will feel how you will move
with the knowing that you made it through the last time, surely it can be done again and maybe this time it will come with a different sensation, a different type of presence
bearing witness to yourself can be a truth
it is interesting to see the subtle changes in the way we move over time, how our bodies translate our experiences into a motion that could feel familiar and distant.
there are these moments that have a way of undoing itself to make you feel like you’ve never left this view.
how do you know that you can do this,
without having to do it to really know
to arrive to the feeling you felt and the feeling you now feel
and it’s like floating in mid air
filled with a density that should have buried you
in becoming an anchor
to be able to do this,
trying to feel how we fit together
looking down on these neem trees in Hyderabad was the ocean i needed
can’t put a face to the feeling
there’s something soothing about seeing something come back to you, again and again
that feeling that you get when you need to pop your ears by plugging your nose
or when your ears are muffled, when sounds get blurry
and its leading you on an incline to a familiar dense feeling
it was like i was looking for what it is and all i needed to do was let it sink in and remind you of
this covered feeling of a depth so distant
stiffened collar bone
i think I’m witnessing the beginnings of mourning unfold inside me
it feels like a flower opening in a steady crescendo of a long yawn
to watch these beans rise and fall so softly so slowly and stay in its skin
how much can one take
New
〰️
Thing
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New 〰️ Thing 〰️
A Limited Edition Run ~
available for a remaining 17 days at Everpress
in honour of Asian American Pacific Islander Heritage Month
link here ~~ https://everpress.com/no-letting-go
New
〰️
Thing
〰️
New 〰️ Thing 〰️
these days have been a lot, alone and never ending
faced a lot of challenges installing the show in markham- a new appreciation for what support really is. it’s a weird feeling not having any familiarity with this place i grew up in, it felt like a same kind of new?
learning the way i feel is not resolved until the work feels cared for. it was hard to take good care this time and with that i feel this sloshy unease.
biggest love to everyone being patient with me in relationships and correspondence. i’ll be resuming commissions now~~~ more than ever, i appreciate everyone who has trusted me with this wait,
my mind is going through all the pages and my body is feeling the chapter and i’m just holding the book
i read somewhere, “what good is an alarm that rings 24/7” and i just need to remind myself that this feeling isn’t forever
( soooo i need my hands and attention to make art- it’s been overwhelming lately with communication but i will get to any texts, emails and dms when i can, there’s just many things to work on at once right now and i will not be able to take on any meetings for the month of August and September, if anyone even reads this lol *bursts into flames* )