cherish your pleasures

to be able to choose, decide when, for how long, the feeling it gives you- all of that stuff is something worth caring for, i think.. a moment to meet yourself. it can be hard to find the way back

my mind will be the end of me

back to looping the same song everyday. I can’t seem to shake how intoxicatingly cyclical living has been

deep down hasn’t been a good place but thankful for this good place

I heard this somewhere, “to hurt another is to hurt ourselves”

grief will live with you

I’ve been watching more horror movies/series, letting myself be elsewhere
More like just “The Haunting” Series (Hills + Bly) and Hereditary with a friend- but still,
I forgot how much I love horror/thrillers- theres something about it
And i’m not really one for the blood and gore
I frankly don’t think my heart can handle the sudden scares
its the story of it all…there’s a mourning, a sort of “left behind” that remains

I think it was in the Hills series where Shirley says, “When we die, we become stories“
And I haven’t stopped thinking of stories since-- especially how much they matter?
It reminded me of Ocean Vuong’s interview on On Being, “A Life Worthy of Our Breath”
That podcast episode, I think about so so often,
I feel so differently about fire escapes ever since.
the way we speak about ourselves, to ourselves
to each other- we carry words

https://onbeing.org/programs/ocean-vuong-a-life-worthy-of-our-breath/
(the unedited version, if you have the time)

reminded of process

the time it takes to arrive

is something to stay still for

a gentle parade if there ever was one

hard to make ends meet

to be put on hold in so many ways

I haven’t been well lately but I’m trying
my body wants to leave

words that stayed:

- owning the wanting
- confidence is quiet
- rockets launch sideways
- home for now / creative nomadicy

It has been a lot lately